All is not as it seems

Small candle

The grief monster has reared its head once again, grabbing me by the throat, pinned me to the wall, saying: “you will grieve...”

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The performance

A stage set for a play illuminated in red

Are you living your life as you want to? Or just following a script neatly typed up for your convenience?

Unexpected, unsolicited, relentless…

I wrote this post on 29 January 2017, but never published it, it was too raw, too difficult for me to read back, let alone to allow it to be read by people out there in the ether of the online world.  I have done a lot of personal healing and growing since this very bleak day earlier this year, so now I feel I am ready to let it go and allow others to see the raw emotions that made me write it in the first place.

Shadows

Despite loss, pain and grief, life is to be lived...

Lurking 

Sometimes in life the light at the end of the tunnel guides you, sometimes it blinds you...

Trust these hands 

Learning to trust one’s heart once again, not an easy endeavour

Wings in my heart….

Eighteen months after the death of my husband, I look back at what my life has been, is now and hope will be, grateful that despite all the pain his illness and death has caused me and my children, I feel as if I have wings in my heart once again...

Twelve months 

Twelve months have passed since you, my love, took your last breath. I thought in my naivety that, because I'd known for a long time that you were going to die, I was ready to face life without you. How wrong! You brought light into my life, you always had laughter on your face and … Continue reading Twelve months 

What’s in a name?

Christmas has been cancelled in our home. There are no decorations, at the specific request of my children, we're not having the traditional Christmas meal...

Grief with life in between

...the Rio Olympics have brought home how different our lives are, without Michael here to watch the whole range of events, the little enjoyment I have experienced is always tinged with the acute sadness of his absence.