I wrote this post on 29 January 2017, but never published it, it was too raw, too difficult for me to read back, let alone to allow it to be read by people out there in the ether of the online world. I have done a lot of personal healing and growing since this very bleak day earlier this year, so now I feel I am ready to let it go and allow others to see the raw emotions that made me write it in the first place.
Despite loss, pain and grief, life is to be lived...
An ode to life and sticking two fingers up to cancer...warning contains explicit language
I am painfully aware that Maya Angelou's poem is all about the African-American Civil Rights struggle, and would never want to fall in the trap of cultural appropriation to make a point, after all I have not had my dignity and rights as a human being thrashed or denied ... nevertheless her words resonate so much with me as a woman, the defiance, ever rising against adversity and so the reason for the quote.
Finally today has also been a reminder of how awful this grieving process is. If the only way people can understand grief is to experience the loss of a loved one I wish I had a superpower that allowed me to stop anyone ever to have to go through it.
Severe fatigue for me means that I wake up in the morning feeling as if I am drunk. Now if you don't know me you would probably assume that I've been on the bottle and therefore shouldn't be complaining about the side effects of indulging in a drink too many; however the truth is that I hardly ever drink.
10 November is Neuroendocrine Cancer Day and to mark it I will be running ten miles between my two local hospitals dressed in zebra print
...the Rio Olympics have brought home how different our lives are, without Michael here to watch the whole range of events, the little enjoyment I have experienced is always tinged with the acute sadness of his absence.
Brave are the refugees fleeing war-torn countries, risking life and limb in the hope they will carve out a better life for their families in a far away land. Brave are the doctors and nurses...
Friday 17th June is "wear something yellow day" to raise awareness of the great work hospices do in looking after patients with life limiting and terminal illnesses as well as their families. I will be doing my bit by wearing something yellow; watch this space!